I know some of you envy me. You think "What could be more rewarding than the life of a blogger, with a loyal readership numbering in the several? The whirlwind travel! The glamorous social life!" I know, I know. But after a while even Google Earth and Facebook lose their luster.
So I, insufferable attention-seeker that I am, have ambitions that are even more ... uh, ambitious. I'm going to write books! No, wait. I'm going to write bestsellers, which are like books only popular. Of course, I know the traditional cardboard sandwich books are fast becoming obsolete, but I'm prepared for that. I'm prepared to write bestselling e-books. In fact, I already have some titles picked out.
My first bestseller will be called Book Publishers Are The Greatest People On Earth. The actual book has nothing to do with publishing, but I figured that would get me out of the slush pile of unsolicited manuscripts. Publishers have millions of these. If you visit a publisher's office, you'll see that the interior walls are made of stacks of manuscripts. (The subtitle is: And Book Sellers Aren't Far Behind.)
Of course, once I've gotten approval from publishers and booksellers, I need to get people to buy my book. Amazon.com lists no fewer than six different books with the title Soon To Be A Major Motion Picture so that's obviously out. So what else might induce someone to buy a book?
Remember, these are e-books, so it's possible to actually customize a book for each individual reader. Maybe the Web site can identify whoever's looking for the book, and make the title irresistible for that person? Wouldn't you buy a book called How You, Your Name Here, Can Get Rich! (or Famous, or Laid, or whatever you want, but that takes a bigger database.) By the way, I assume your name isn't actually Your Name Here. I just don't have the details all worked out yet. (But if your name is Your Name Here, I'll bet you can get great deals on t-shirts, hats and birthday cakes.)
So you see, the new technology actually opens up all kinds of marketing possibilities for new bestsellers. Now all I have to do is fill the pages.