Showing posts with label yahoo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label yahoo. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Televentuality

Troubled technology company Yahoo, whose previous claim to fame was that it’s named after the stupid, brutish people in Gulliver’s Travels, is now getting into the television business. They announced this week that they’re commissioning two comedy series, and that they’re going to start streaming live concerts every day.

With this move, Yahoo joins the ranks of Netflix, Amazon, Google and every idiot with a phone and a YouTube account. Can it be that these companies have realized that, far from clamoring for new gadgets and Web sites, people really just want to watch TV? (Actually, most of the new gadgets and Web sites are designed for TV watching.) Humankind’s destiny is to evolve into recumbent blobs capable of absorbing massive amounts of televised entertainment, as depicted in Disney’s WALL-E.

Just look around. There are TV screens everywhere. In elevators. In every restaurant or bar. On airplane seats. On grocery shopping carts. In kitchens and bathrooms. I know a lot of parents who treat the TV as a pacifier for their kids, but who’s pacifying us?

Of course, not just anyone can create such crowning cultural achievements as “2 Broke Girls,” “Wipe Out” or “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” This kind of talent will be increasingly in demand. And while I’m glad to see new opportunities for creative people, the current milieu of thousands of channels, Web sites and download sources, all brimming with utter crap1, does not fill me with optimism.

1With a few notable exceptions.

Friday, June 17, 2011

N.M.F.D.

Some people have said the end of the world is coming on Oct. 21 of this year.  This is based largely on the same biblical evidence behind the much acclaimed prediction of The Rapture on May 21.  That drew a smaller crowd than the Red Sox/Cubs series the same weekend.

What few people realize is the real end of the world comes not in the form of Judgement Day or anything celestial.  It will be N.M.F.D.

For the uninitiated, this is No More Freebies Day.  It's the day when GMail, Skype, Yahoo!, YouTube, and all the other free Web services we know and love start charging money.  Cause you know that's gotta happen, right?  Turns out that giving stuff away for free is not a great business model.  Imagine if WalMart had a "Help Yourself" policy.  Do you think there'd be a store in every town in the country?  Imagine if Ikea gave away furniture and cinnamon rolls.  There'd be an epidemic of obesity.  (Oh, wait.)

So prepare yourselves.  The day is coming.  You'll have to pay to watch YouTube! videos.  You'll have to subscribe to use Skype.  Facebook will make you pay for each exciting update on who had what for lunch.  And The New York Times will allow you only 19 free articles per month!

Mark my words!  It'll be worse than any apocalypse.