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Greatest Inventions

Apple has now become the most valuable public company in history. No doubt this is largely due to their seemingly endless stream of life-altering, or at least culture-altering, gadgets. Think about it ... the Macintosh, the Newton (ok, low blow), the iPod, the iPhone, the iPad, the iDon'tKnowWhatButThereMustBeSomethingElse.

But in all this, it's easy to lose sight of what are really the most significant inventions of all time. Therefore, as a public service, we provide this reminder.

5)	computers	In addition to letting us expose every aspect of our personal lives to friends and advertisers alike1, the computer has revolutionized just about every other product on earth. It is also responsible for getting millions of indigent nerds off the streets and into productive jobs.
4)	hair coloring	I don't know, but my wife insists this is essential.
3)	Girl Scout Thin Mints	Hey, when you make a list, you can pick.
2)	mute buttons	Ever watch commercial TV? Indispensible!

And the number one most signifiicant invention of all time ...

1)	toilet paper	Seriously, would you trade this for any of the others?

¹On the information superhighway, Facebook is the bumper stickers.

Pioneers and Arrows of Outrageous Fortunes

There's an old saying that you can recognize a pioneer by the arrows in his back. If the arrows had been in his front, you'd think the pioneer had taken risks and suffered the consequences.  Arrows in the back, however, can only mean one thing: friendly fire. The pioneers have taken a beating at the hands of their own followers.

Think about it.  How many of these products have you heard of?  Used?  Owned?

• Xerox Star
• Visicalc
• WAIS
• pen PC
• AudioHighway Listen Up
• WebCrawler

On the other hand, how familiar are these?

• Apple Macintosh
• Microsoft Excel
• World Wide Web
• Apple iPad
• Apple iPod
• Google

Each of these household words is really just a later version of some earlier product that's now extinct. Why have these derivative products and technologies had such a lasting effect, when the true originals disappeared? Did the imitators offer some vital improvement?  Did they just do a better job of marketing?  Did the public need time to assimilate the idea?  Who knows?  There's really only one lesson we can definitely take away from this...

Don't be a leader.

Why I Should Be the Next CEO of Apple

Let's face it.  Tim Cook is probably a very competent executive, but he's no Steve Jobs.  Seriously, have you ever heard of anything he's done?  He's not the the industry-shaking innovator that Apple needs.

I, on the other hand, have loads of ground-breaking ideas.  And I can draw them!  If that doesn't make me a visionary, I don't know what does.  Here is just a handful of my game-changing innovations...

So let Apple know you think I should be the next CEO.  And if you're on Apple's board, vote for me!

Thank you.

New Apple Products

The success of the iPad has spurred Apple to introduce a new line of oversized products, including:

the big MacBook ...

the big iPhone, and ...

the big iPod Shuffle.

iPants