Sunday, August 5, 2012

The Ultimate Lawyer Show

TEASER

Interior, tastefully furnished law office with glass-walled conference rooms, private offices and desks in the open area. Plants and muted artworks adorn the walls. A well dressed bloated gentleman, who vaguely resembles Captain Kirk from "Star Trek", is talking with a somewhat younger bloated gentleman who vaguely resembles the young guy from "Sex, Lies and Videotape."

KIRK-LIKE GUY: We'll have to go outside the firm for this one.

SLV-LIKE GUY: Sir?

KIRK: We need all the best legal minds in the country. Money is no object.

SLV: Seriously?

KIRK: Well, ok we'll try Priceline first.

SLV: Ok. I just hope this is going to be worth it.

KIRK: Are you kidding? It's a gold mine.

ACT ONE

Interior, glass-walled conference room. The walls are completely hidden by stacks of bankers boxes. More boxes are stacked on the conference table, amid piles of papers.

Around the table are ALICIA FLORICK, FRANKLIN and BASH, BOBBY DONNELL and ASSOCIATES, MCKENZIE, BRACKMAN, CHANEY and KUZAK, MATLOCK, CLINTON JUDD, PERRY MASON and A WOMAN WHO LOOKS VAGUELY LIKE CHARLIE MCCARTHY'S LITTLE SISTER. They are all occupied with reading files and documents.

Every so often, one of them flips a page, or turns a document sideways as if to examine a diagram, or clears his or her throat.

ACT TWO

Same.

ACT THREE

Ditto.

ACT FOUR

Likewise.

TAG

KIRK and SEX-LIES-VIDEOTAPES GUY are sitting on a balcony, smoking big, fat stogies.

KIRK: Well, I guess we're ready for that Apple v Samsung case now!

SLV-GUY: Are we?

KIRK: Who the hell knows? Let's just chuckle and enjoy our stogies like we always do.

END



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