Mortality

I saw my doctor a week ago, and was stunned to learn that I only have 40 years to live, give or take a decade or two. A lot depends on controversial medical advances, like the individual mandate.

Of course, I went through the usual stages of denial, anger, bargaining, binge eating and acceptance. Actually, I guess I'm stuck in that binge eating phase. That's kind of working for me.

But it’s a sobering thing, looking death in the face like this. It makes you re-examine your priorities. You want to make every second count. You don’t want to spend your final half-century lost in some pointless routines like Facebook. You want to break old habits, and see what else life has to offer, like Twitter and Pinterest. You question how much time you want to spend languishing in front of a computer, instead of breaking down and getting a freaking iPad already.

But there’s so much I want to do! I want to have dinner at the most romantic restaurant in Paris, followed by a leisurely walk along the Seine, but wake up to bagels in New York. I want to find a group of scholars with whom I can discuss all the works of Shakespeare, O’Neill and Dave Barry. I want to bicycle through the English countryside, stopping at all the quaint little towns to sneer at the food.

Most importantly, I want to convey to my loved ones how important they are. I want to send them deep, heartfelt messages like “I ♥ U” and “My PIN is ...”.

Don’t let a minute go by.

First Reaction

In her 1969 book, On Death and Dying, Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross describes the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.  But when I heard the news of Steve Jobs's death yesterday, my first reaction was definitely anger.  I had just come up with a decent bit of Steve Jobs-related humor, and spent at least several minutes tinkering in Photoshop to produce it.  (See below.)  Why couldn't he have waited a week?

But after further reflection, I realized something important.  Really, The Tech Curmudgeon comes from many years of watching technology, especially computers and software, evolve and grow in importance.  I've seen computers go from highly specialized equipment that requires climate-controlled rooms with raised floors to devices that many of us carry in our pockets.

Throughout this period, the vendors of technology have always been all too eager to sell us whatever gadget or innovation they can devise, with no regard for consequences. Ever gotten a spam email?  Or a virus? Ever cursed at a gadget or piece of software for being too difficult to use, or too unreliable? Ever noticed that you spend more time maintaining your computer than you do using it? Technology vendors have always gone for the bells and whistles, rather than for the satisfying experience.

They just didn't get that computers are not mops or toasters or even coffee makers. We don't merely use computers.  We have relationships with them. They're life partners!

But Steve Jobs got it.  If he's known for anything, it's for the sheer elegance of Apple's products. The whole field of user experience design is illuminated by these products and the concept they realize of bringing joy, and not just utility, to the user.  With the passing of Steve Jobs, the world has lost its greatest exponent of technology joy, and product joy in general.

Which means The Tech Curmudgeon will have a lot more material.

Ok, here's the somewhat lame and now thoroughly tasteless bit of humor ...