Apple News

It’s not too early to begin discussing the round of new products to be unveiled at Apple’s next media circus event. Apart from a new set of incrementally improved iPhones, iPads, iPods and Macs, the world’s attention is likely to focus on the revolutionary new Apple Thumbtack!¹

The Apple Thumbtack, as you might imagine, is designed to join multiple documents. In keeping with the new 3D pressure sensitivity, a light press of the Apple Thumbtack creates a document collection. A heavier press creates a merged document containing the combined contents of all the individual documents. And the heaviest press creates a hole in your screen.

Apple may take some flack for this reversal of Steve Jobs’ well known view that “if you have to use a thumbtack, they blew it.” Still, it’s been acknowledged the thumbtack has been on Apple’s Chair, Art Levinson’s mind for a while.

¹Our sources inform us that Apple Paperclip was rejected as being too similar to Microsoft’s Office Assistant, and Apple Staple just sounded stupid.