End of the Year Lists

I’m sure you’ve seen all the Top Whatevers of 2013 lists on various Web sites, in newspapers and magazines and on TV. The problem, of course, is that they start this a week or two before the year is actually over.

If I were a terrorist, I would strike on December 31, too late to make it into any of the end-of-the-year top something lists that the media are so fond of. That way, in addition to whatever havoc I had wreaked, I would have the added satisfaction of knowing that I had proven all the news media wrong.

That said, these lists do serve another important function … that of wasting that generally unproductive time between Christmas and New Year’s.

Top things I totally don’t want to hear about in 2014 (in no particular order [well, alphabetical, but let’s face it … the alphabet is in pretty much random order]):

• Alec Baldwin
• Benghazi
• Billion dollar buy-outs of some kid’s middle school science project
• Boston Strong
• Breaking Bad
• Candy Crush Saga
• Miley Cyrus
• Fiscal cliffs, sequesters and government shutdowns
• HealthCare.gov
• Nuclear weapons made entirely on 3D printers
• Edward Snowden
• Twerking
• Anthony Weiner