Job Seekers' Guide

The overall job picture in the U.S. is still grim, but in high technology industries, there are plenty of jobs going begging. Job descriptions are written by master wordsmiths whose goal is to make the most mundane chore sound like ... well, to make it sound pleasurable. So, as a public service, we offer these explanations of some of the terms commonly used these solicitations.

dynamic environment

The company's nowhere.

energetic

You'll work your ass off.

fast-paced

You'll work your ass off, and then back on, and then off again. Twice.

fun

There's a foosball table (that you can sleep on, since you'll never get to go home.)

generous benefits

Free candy.

start-up atmosphere

A dozen people, all of whom biked to work without showering (because there are no showers), sitting around a table with laptops.

team player

You'll have no say over what happens.

well funded

You won't get any stock, because the investors have snatched it all up.