The Players

For those of you who can’t tell the players without a scorecard, we’ve prepared this handy list of Trump’s cabinet members and their mission statements.

Department	Secretary	Slogan
State	Rex Tillerson	Make oil great again.
Treasury	Steve Mnuchin	Make Wall St. great again.
Defense	James Mattis	Make America strong again.
Attorney General	Jeff Sessions	Fill America’s jails again.
Interior	Ryan Zinke	Make America for sale again.
Agriculture	Sonny Perdue	Make my family rich again.
Commerce	Wilbur Ross	Make me rich again.
Labor	R. Alexander Costa	Make Americans overwork again.
Health	Tom Price	Make America sick again.
Housing	Ben Carson	Huh?
Transportation	Elaine Chao	Make America walk again.
Energy	Rick Perry	Make fossil fuels great again.
Education	Betsy DeVos	Make America stupid again.
Veterans	David Shulkin	Benefit veterans again. Really.
Homeland Security	John Kelly	Make America white again.
CIA	Mike Pompeo	Make America secret again.
UN	Nikki Haley	Make America look great again.
EPA	Scott Pruit	Make America filthy again.
Small Business	Linda McMahon	Make America wrestle again.
OMB	Mick Mulvaney	Make America small again.

And, of course, Trump himself: Make America great again.